Tiramisu

Tiramisu

INT – Dinner Table 

A warm, cosy home. Music plays as two close friends sit and talk over empty plates. 

 

ALEX:
 

Nah but I’m just sayin that if I were on a desert island in the first place I’d probably just kill myself. 

 

RYAN:
 

 

What? Why? Surely you’d wanna stay alive until someone recues you? Anyway you’re meant to say what you’d take with you, not that you’d off yourself.
 

 

ALEX: 

 

Alright, what were the items again? 

 

RYAN: 

 

Film.
 

 

ALEX:
 

 

Yeah.
 

 

RYAN:
 

 

Book.
 

 

ALEX: 

 

Right 

 

RYAN: 

 

Luxury item. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Yeah. 

 RYAN: 

 

That’s it. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Ok. 

 

Silence... 

 

ALEX: 

 

Ugh can I not just kill myself? 

 

RYAN: 

 

No. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Right then it’d have to be Kung Fu Panda. 

 

RYAN: 

 

Brilliant. It’s a classic. 

 

ALEX: 

 

The Bible. 

 

RYAN: 

 

What? 

 

ALEX: 

 

And apple crumble. 

 

RYAN: 

 

What? 

 

ALEX: 


 

You know I love apple crumble. 

 

RYAN: 

 

N– The Holy Bible? 

 

ALEX: 

 

Well I don’t really read do I? 

 

RYAN: 

 

Where did The Bible come from? 

 

ALEX: 

 

I dunno thought it might be interesting considering the fuss everyone makes over it. 

 

RYAN: 

 

You’re not even religious. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Yeah well people who aren’t still read it. Just cuz I don’t believe in God doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be interesting. 

 

RYAN: 

 

Like who? 

 

ALEX: 

 

What? 

 

RYAN: 

 

What atheists do you know that have read The Bible? 

 

ALEX: 

 

You. 

 

RYAN: 

 

I went to Catholic School. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Well I’d still take it, its massive, would last ages. 

 

RYAN: 

 

True. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Thanks by the way this was really good. 

 RYAN: 

 

Cheers. Oh I made desert if you want some. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Ooh, did you make apple crumble? 

 

RYAN: 

 

Nah mate, better. 

 

ALEX: 

 

What is it? 

 

RYAN: 

 

Tiramisu. 

 

ALEX: 

 

What is it? 

 

RYAN: 

 

You’ve never had it? It’s an Italian desert, handed down through the generations. 

Beautifully simple yet delicious, it is perfection in a dish... 

 

ALEX: 

 

Right... What actually is it? 

 

An intense montage plays. RYAN making tiramisu earlier that day. RYAN places down the pristine desert on the table. 

 

ALEX: 

 

I just bought some muffins. 

 

RYAN: 

 

Honestly you’re gonna love it, its the best thing ever. I used to eat like two bowl-fulls of this. And sometimes I’d have it for breakfast if there was left overs. It’s the best desert you’d really like it. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Go on then. 

 

RYAN plates up a perfect scoop for ALEX. He sits and watches him intensely. Alex slowly tries a mouthful. Silence... 

 

RYAN: 

 

Well? What do you think? 

 

ALEX: 

 

It’s alright. 

 

RYAN: 

 

What? 

 

ALEX: 

 

I mean it’s ok, it’s no crumble. 

 

RYAN: 

 

What do you mean it’s ok? It’s peng. 

 

ALEX: 

 

It’s just a bit meh. It’s not you I think it’s just the desert, like what it is. Like just eggs and shi- 

 

RYAN: 

 

That recipe was created by the humble prostitutes of Napoli to please their clients. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Probably better prostitutes than cooks then. 

 

RYAN: 

 

It is perfectly balanced. You know tiramisu literally translates to pick-me-up. The coffee soaked sponge fingers waking up the tired men, the silky smooth creaminess sliding down the throat, the cocoa powder coating the tongue and mouth. 

 

ALEX: 

 

It’s just a bit dead. 

 

RYAN: 

 

Brilliant. That’s just great. Here, gimme that why don’t you have a muffin instead? 

 

ALEX: 

 

Hang on I have finished it yet! 

 

RYAN: 

 

You said you didn’t like it. 

 

ALEX: 

 

No, no I do like it just let me try another bit. 

 

ALEX takes another spoonful, he chews nodding and then starts laughing and almost spits it out. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Ok I’m sorry I can’t. 

 

RYAN takes his bowl and gets up to leave. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Wait wait, I’m sorry. Ok I know this means a lot to you and I’m sorry for taking the piss.
 

 

Pause 

 

RYAN: 

 

Nah it’s ok. Sorry I overreacted. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Come on sit down. 

 

He sits. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Lets just chill out. Why don’t we go watch some TV? Or we could put of a film if you want? Kung Fu Panda? 

 

RYAN: 

 

Yeah that’d be funny. 

 

ALEX: 

 

Yeah we’ll just stay here and chill out... 

 

And maybe then we can go to the shop and get some apple crumble. 

 

RYAN launches himself at ALEX.